Did you ever watch Eddie Murphy’s stand-up routine Raw? He has this bit recounting what made him decide to call off his wedding. It’s hilarious.
Eddie starts the sketch explaining how he became engaged to a wonderful woman. While in a supermarket he sees the cover of the National Enquirer tabloid with a sad Johnny Carson (Eddie does his big sad face). Eddie flips to the story and sees Johnny’s wife with a HUGE grin (Eddie does his huge grin face).
The headline reads something to the effect “Johnny’s Wife Gets Half” – half being about $150 million.
Eddie gets scared. At the time he released Raw, he’s a wealthy man. He can’t fathom paying his soon-to-be wife half his money. He calls off the wedding.
Eddie of course wasn’t concerned how much the actual divorce legal fees would cost, but he was terrified of having to hand over half of his fortune.
Mr. Murphy isn’t like most of us in that paying for legal fees is a big consideration. But he, like us, appreciates that divorce can be frightfully expensive.
The fact is, divorce legal fees can be incredibly expensive and in some cases diminish the assets of couples by half or more. That’s why if you’re getting married and you don’t have a fortune like Eddie, one important decision you must make is whether to go down the expensive legal fees road or do all you can to keep costs to an absolute minimum.
You’re at my site, which is largely about getting a do-it-yourself divorce because you want to learn about your options in getting a do-it-yourself divorce. And the only reason you want to get a DIY divorce is to avoid paying a small fortune in legal fees.
Fortunately (if there is such a thing as fortunately in a divorce situation), there are several ways to get a DIY divorce and keep your divorce costs to a minimum.
4 Ways to Get a Do-It-Yourself Divorce
There are 4 ways you can get a do-it-yourself divorce. Some cost a bit more than other methods and involve different steps, but at the end of the day these are your options for a DIY divorce that won’t end up costing you a fortune.
The main point of all the 4 options I set out below is to save you money for the cost of getting divorced.
The 4 DIY Divorce options are as follows:
- Do your divorce entirely on your own
- Use an online divorce service
- Go to a mediator then complete the paperwork on your own or via divorce service
- Get your paperwork completed, then get independent legal advice
Main Requirement for a DIY Divorce
The main requirement for getting a do-it-yourself divorce is that you and your spouse agree to all the terms of your divorce. This includes division or property and debt, child custody, child support, and/or spousal support. If you do not agree in the end, then you must take your divorce to the Courts.
However, if you do not agree initially, read on, because there is a viable option to help you and your spouse come to agreement that won’t cost you a fortune. It’s hiring a mediator. I discuss this below.
1. Do your divorce entirely on your own
There is no law requiring you to hire a lawyer or a divorce service to file your divorce paperwork. You and/or your spouse can hunt down the correct divorce paperwork forms for your jurisdiction, complete the paperwork, file it in court and then complete service of those filed documents. If the Court finds everything in order, then after the necessary waiting period (duration depends on jurisdiction), your divorce judgment will be issued.
The clear advantage to this approach is you only pay whatever fees the Court requires.
The disadvantages include the time you must spend learning the process, correcting any mistakes, and taking the time to actually do all the paperwork. If paperwork is not your thing, then read on.
2. Use an online divorce service
Did you know there are divorce services you can use on the Internet that will do all your divorce paperwork for you?
If trying to figure out which forms to use, how to fill out the forms, and where to file your divorce paperwork does not interest you, and it’s worth $250 to $300 to avoid this hassle, then an online divorce service (I compare 2 prominent online divorce services here) is for you.
Due to economies of scale, online divorce services are less expensive than lawyers for completing the paperwork. However, divorce services do not offer legal advice.
How does an online divorce service work?
You get an account with the divorce service of your choice, and then you answer a bunch of questions (takes about 20 to 30 minutes). The answers you provide will form the information that the divorce service then puts into the divorce paperwork. Once the paperwork is completed, it’s available to you with instructions for filing your paperwork.
3. Go to a mediator then complete the paperwork on your own or via divorce service
Most contested divorces, which is a divorce where the spouses don’t agree on all or any of the terms, go to a mediation session. Mediation is often successful and is a very cost-effective way of working through issues on which you and your spouse don’t agree.
Most mediators charge by the hour. That is why it’s good to be prepared. Understand the issues on which you and your spouse agree and those you don’t. The faster a mediator understands your case, the faster the mediator can get to work trying to resolve the disagreement(s).
Seek out only mediators with experience doing divorce mediations. You want the mediator well-versed in the divorce laws of your jurisdiction so she or he can inform you as to what a probable outcome in Court would be if you go that route.
The mediator’s role is to facilitate discussion between you and your spouse and to also inform you as to the divorce laws so you can make an informed decision.
A mediator will cost some money, but it’s much, much cheaper than both you and your spouse hiring lawyers and going to court.
If mediation works, then you can ask that the mediator draw up a document setting out the terms.
Once you have the terms you can either complete the divorce paperwork on your own, use a divorce service, or take the document to a lawyer to complete the divorce paperwork.
4. Get your paperwork completed, then get independent legal advice
Yes, I appreciate this article is about ways to get a Do-it-yourself divorce. However, for some people, when looking to do a DIY divorce, what they really mean is getting a divorce without expensive legal costs. In fact, a DIY divorce is solely about saving money and time.
You can hire a lawyer solely to do your divorce paperwork. If you and your spouse agree to all the terms, a lawyer can simply draw up the paperwork for a fee. Generally lawyers will charge a bit more than an online divorce service. However you then have access to legal advice. If you ask for legal advice, you are venturing down the path to where you or your spouse may need to hire their own lawyer. Why? Because if after getting legal advice you wish to change the terms you and your spouse agreed upon, you’re setting out on a course of litigation.
In some cases litigation may be necessary in order for your interests and rights to be protected. Just understand in this instance, your spouse will also then be wise to hire his/her own lawyer. When this happens, your legal fees will escalate rapidly.
You can also take the paperwork completed by a divorce service to a lawyer for review to ensure the terms are adequate. This is simply getting legal advice. Again, if you or your spouse wish to change the terms, you may be embarking on expensive litigation. Again, litigation isn’t bad if your interests and rights aren’t protected.
You’re not Eddie Murphy.
Eddie pulled the plug before the wedding fearing what getting married might cost him. If you’re already married, you must deal with getting divorced. Fortunately there are inexpensive ways for you to get divorced. Please keep in mind that the above-mentioned do-it-yourself divorce cost-saving options does not mean you won’t have to divide property, pay child support, and/or pay spousal support.
Moreover, if you’re in doubt about your interests, the law, the process, and/or your rights at any point along the way, get legal advice.
